Haaaaaayyyyyyyyuh

Hmm!

This blog is dying and quickly, what to do?!

No one reads it anyways, hahaha. We'll fix it up one day. ... Ooooneee daaaaAaaay~

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 3:46 PM 2 comments

Jaq hates it when there's no edity bar on her blog thing.


Going on to what this blog is actually supposed to be about.

The world is a bad place.

Steve Irwin died.

Some crazy football father tackled a kid.

[insert various middle eastern conflicts].

There're people who enjoy listening to Britney Spears.


However, so long as I've got my mini-wheats, I'm indifferent. Totally.

Well, aside from Steve Irwin. D: Stevey.

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 7:16 PM 0 comments

PART TWO.
(Yiffing is grooosss.)
Jaq is better than your pancakes.

So, after wandering around pissing off stupid goth kids, we got- bored. We needed something new.
Well, coincidentally we ended up in the adult area.
Let me tell you, it was fucking packed. Not a good sign.

There was an odd area based around a college of some sort, where gender was a subject of question. We hung around in one room for a while. Amazingly enough, it was quite boring and everyone was socializing. Not the hell-hole mass orgy I always imagined, but still nothing I wanted to deal with on a daily basis.

[smellsacetone] smiles and cuddles him, "everyone's bored"
[eatscherrypies]: Yeah.
[isn'twhatsheclaimstobe] Stands up and does a back hand spring into a front handspring into a backtuck then lands on her feet brb GUYS! and Girls~!!
You say, "UWAHRHRHARED>"

I was done with these squares! So was my friend! Time to find adventure, right?!
What better than a co-ed bathroom? I was expecting some crazy fetishes here.

[furry]: yep
[gnat’spanties]: Get over it.
[Hailmywhore] oO
You say, "I haven't taken a shower in like a week."
[furry]: my last wife was Lilly Chambers, now known as Sway
You say, "Seriously, the grease was starting to bother me. Also all this dandruf."
You say, "Life is tough without running water."
[gnat’spanties]: [duckysquack], that's gross.
[furry] feels like he's been cursed with matelessness since

Cursed with matelessness...
I wonder why.
I think I have better chances as a water conservationalist.

But I realized I had stumbled across a herd of...

DRAMA LLAMAS!

[gnat’spanties]: Who cares, my problem is rl thank you.
[furry]: [try not having a g/f in over a year IRL]
[gnat’spanties]: Yeah, I haven't had a good boyfriend in so many year sI lost count. It's been use after use. Try that.
[gnat’spanties]: Hale, if I went up to this guy and told him everything, do you think He would find me crazy?
[platypusbear]: Know what's awkward? Sitting next to your girlfriend's mom in the abortion clinic.
[gnat’spanties]: Ouch, that sucks.
[Hailmywhore] shruggs "People arent that easy to judge on the fly nap" o.o
[furry]: [my RL last girlfriend was when I was working on Belle City Amusements and she left me for a ride jock (what we carneys call ride operators)]
[gnat’spanties]: I want to go to his house and just hug him. Is that too much to ask.
You say, "I see the problem here."
You say, "It boils down to a word."
You say, "That word is otter."
You say, "He is always amongst us."
[platypusbear]: They use tools to crack clams.
[platypusbear]: Learn from them.
[gnat’spanties]: Our moms have even told us, that when we look at each other we both look so empty, but we stare in each others eyes for hours.
You say, "For life has it's uncrackable clams, until we find that tool."
[Hailmywhore] smiles "Thats kinda sweet in a weird dark way"

Why thank you Hail, I like our natural philosophy as well.

[platypusbear]: And that tool is freedom. Freedom to love anyone that makes you happy.
[furry]: [and believe me, as a jointee (carney lingo for a game vendor) there is nothing worse then losing a girlfriend to a ride jock]
[gnat’spanties]: That's like a nerd losing a girlfriend to a football player. it happens.
[platypusbear]: Ride Jock's have all the luck.
You say, "I lost my boyfriend to a parapalegic."
[platypusbear]: Women, more money, free rides.
[platypusbear]: Hey [duckysquack]
[platypusbear]: Don't be hating
You say, "I hate your guts."
[platypusbear]: Just because they're handicaped doesn't mean they can't experience all of life's magic.
You say, "How could you leave me for a girl in a wheel chair?!"
[platypusbear]: But because they can't run a marathon, so fucking what?
You say, "ME?!"
[platypusbear]: My father was in a wheelchair.
You say, "I should've put YOU in a wheelchair."
[platypusbear]: I am in one already.
[Hailmywhore] pokes [gnat] "See told you we werent the only fucked up ones"
[gnat’spanties]: At least you guys were left, you dont have to live with guilt.
[platypusbear]: It's genetic.You say, "Bullshit, you just like the luxury of being pushed around."
You say, "You watch out, school tomorrow I'm pushing you RIGHT DOWN THAT HILL."
[Hailmywhore] OO
[Hailmywhore] snickers at this shit o.o

Think about that last line carefully.


Hey, ever read Edgar Allen Poe's a dream within a dream?


[gnat’spanties]: I cause my own problems.
[platypusbear]: So why do you guys come here?
[platypusbear]: I can't get a boner cause of being handicapped, so this is my only way to slake my lust.
[platypusbear]: What about you?
[gnat’spanties]: To hang out with friends, which Is why I dont know why Im here.
You say, "I'm telling you, he's not handicapped, he's lazy."
[Hailmywhore] snuggs [gnat] "Such a negative kitty" o.o
[gnat’spanties]: I guess so.
[gnat’spanties]: I'm a glass half empty kitty.
[platypusbear]: Kitty ::puurz:: ^^
[Hailmywhore] fills [gnat]'s glass :O
You say, "I'm a realist. There is no glass."
[platypusbear]: Yeah, okay Daria.
You say, "Shutup cripple boy."
[Hailmywhore] I'm a comic, make a fuckin joke about it heh
[Hailmywhore] pats [gnat] "BRB Chinese food is calling me"
[platypusbear]: I'm a handicapped. The glass is scotch and everclear.
[platypusbear]: And a virgin.
[platypusbear]: And 28.
You say, "The glass is the molotov cocktail I'm going to throw at you once I'm done watching you tumble helplessly down a steep hill."


That's where I'm concluding the adventure, because the rest was just stupid. :D

I would like to eat a subway sandwich.

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 5:23 PM 0 comments

This acedmic year, I spent doing shop work- as a gap year to get some money before University. Well, not by choice, but that's a whole other story that I could bitch about for hours. AND MAY WELL DO! If I get really bored one night and someone's poking me to write a blog.


Anywho, today's subject is about funny people. I've come to learn that not many people are funny, in my time shop-attending. I'm not funny, except when I've got my GAME ON (Now is not one of those times), so it's a bit too much to expect other people to be that way. Yeah, blah blah blah, funny anecdote about the shop... hmm... here we go. There's this guy called Adam, with an identical twin who everyone calls Foster. And I say "Hello Adam!" and he goes, "I'm not Adam! THAT'S Adam!"... except.. he was Adam... because I can tell them apart now... and... why is that supposed to be funny? He gave up on the joke pretty soon afterwards. Oh, Adam, you kooky kid.

As you can see, the anecdote didn't go well. But I don't have to be funny, I have SCIENCE! So here I go; my 'are people funny' scientific test. Are they funny? AVERAGE people?

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 5:07 PM 0 comments

So. Me (Jaq) and a friend were running around making fun of two particular groups:

Goth kids, and people who're into furry porn.
I figured I'd put up the highlights.

First, we decided to head to some vampires. Y'know...
Easy prey... OUWAHHWHWHAHAHAHA, THE NUMBER OF THE DAY IS EIGHT!

We had established that Goth1 was obviously the dominant female. Prrowl!


You say, "Hard like the ice cold heart of ... . . . beowulf."
[platypusbear] looks to goth1," You seem intrigued and desperate, wanna go makeout?"
[g2]: ..................
[g2]: xD
[Goth1] glares even more, emiting a low growl '.......'
[duckysquack] emits primal noises of prime ape orgies.
[platypusbear]: Sexy growl. Do it again.
[Goth1] rolls her eye's sticking ehr tounge out "..if you wish to keep living dont speak to me like that"
[g2]: XD
You say, "Oh baby but please don't stop talking like that. *purrs* ^_^"
[g2]: ...............
[Goth1] sighs as she growls lowly once agian '.....stupid no go pig's....."
[platypusbear]: I need a strong women like you to break my wild horse nature, babe.
[platypusbear]: I stompt my feet to alarm you are in my breeding ground.
[Goth1] stands as she glares at them "...i am going else where..." she said growling more
You say, "She's my one true love."


She wasn't woman enough for us though.

So after our hot date we got kicked out and wandered about some more.
And there it was. Perfect.

Star Wars. How could we say no?

[#] The Sith Android quickly steps into the entrance of the Temple, lightsaber ignited and held defensively: "Identify yourself for Vocal Recognition."
[platypusbear]: Roag!
(You see [platypusbear].)
> I fled into the darkness, and I was afraid. Also alone.
[platypusbear]: KAH PLAH
[platypusbear]: I am zerg?
[platypusbear]: For the emperor!
You say, "Macarena!"
You say, "Kodaaachrroooommmee."
[platypusbear]: Jazzersize
[platypusbear]: The first rule of fight club is..
You say, "You do not talk about fight club!"
[platypusbear]: CORRECT!
[platypusbear]: Pleeeease enter.
[#] Upon observing the lightsaber-wielding Sith Androids, those with knowledge of such things would notice their armor to be of Cortosis Weave, making lightsabers virtually useless against them.
[platypusbear]: Darth Vader.
[platypusbear]: I demand you let me in.
[platypusbear]: Helloooo?
You say, "Your mother."
You say, "I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS TREATMENT, WILLIAM."
[platypusbear]: *choo ::puuur:: *
You say, "I WENT THROUGH 16 HOURS OF LABOR TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR ARMORED SYNTHETIC LITTLE BODY."
[platypusbear]: SHE CAN UNMAKE YOU.
You say, "DAMNRIGHT, I BROUGHT YOU INTO THE WORLD I SURE AS HELL CAN TAKE YOU OUT!"
[#] The Sith Android quickly steps into the entrance of the Temple, lightsaber ignited and held defensively: "Identify yourself for Vocal Recognition."
[#] The Sith Android quickly steps into the entrance of the Temple, lightsaber ignited and held defensively: "Identify yourself for Vocal Recognition."
[#] The Sith Android quickly steps into the entrance of the Temple, lightsaber ignited and held defensively: "Identify yourself for Vocal Recognition."
[platypusbear]: Juuron.
[platypusbear]: Essence Faleur.
You say, "Tattooine."
[platypusbear]: Temple of the Sith.
[platypusbear]: Germie.
You say, "SssSsssith."
You say, "Anakin"
[platypusbear]: Snakes on a plane!
You say, "George Lucas"


So, despite guilt trips, foreign languages, much geek talks, and negotiations involving porn, I found no luck. My partner managed to sneak in, however. We won't go into that.

TO BE CONTINUED...

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 9:08 PM 0 comments

I am the swan that swims in your dreams,
I am the turtle that flogs you for sex,
I am the dove that pecks out your eyes,
I am the line which doesn't fit the rhythmn of the poem to this point or rhyme.

Totally not posted by Eiphel, honest.

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 9:26 PM 0 comments

Poems by Jaq


---
Tears of rotten streams of
hateful loving mold
mold my orange
into orange pudding
because I hate you.
And I love your
cooking.

---

My tearful agony spelled out in an adress
I speak but I digress
You are the tragedy that is us
Roses wither and die
And you pass me on by.

---

As the blood red envy runs down my
emotional wall
I cry out in agony and pain
Deception you gave to me
A bullet for the sake of mankind.





Thenku, thenku verreh mach.
More emo poetry never
Toodaloo~ >

posted by Oppolo&Jaq @ 12:45 AM 0 comments